Jesse James, it fits that he's named for the bandit, somehow kept his private life utterly and completely private.
Except Sandra Bullock WAS his private life.
They met in 2004 and got married a year later. In the time they dated and in the years they were legally bound had they never had a serious discussion about values and beliefs? Not a chat? Not a nothing?
Bullock won best actress for The Blind Side but talk about being blindsided.
How many times had she passed his surfboard in the garage, the one decorated with a Nazi swastika towering over everything else inside? And how about his other Nazi decals adorning motorcycles and the walls where he works?
Even his friends shared his beliefs.
Only Sandra Bullock, the Oscar winning actress, was shocked into silence and hightailed it back to Austin, Texas, into the arms of family and friends.
Well, it's only love. You can't expect perfection.
Did Juliet know every detail about Romeo, or did she assume he'd clear the table, fold the laundry, and help potty-train the kids?
Lovers dream. They do it all the time, and then get divorced when the ceiling cracks and falls on their heads.
But after six years together, Bullock had no insight whatsoever.
She must've come down with that tunnel vision kind of romance, the one with the hazy, nougat filled center that causes instant glaucoma the moment she gazes into her husband's lying eyes.
A third mistress of James' surfaced this morning.
‘Course it’s sounding a lot Tiger, and whew, the timing's perfect. Now that the golfer's gotten serious help and the late night comics used up all the good jokes, we got nothing more to say and are looking around for something like it, but a lot more interesting.
Not that we wish Sandra any unhappiness, no, no, not us. Yet...
Yet what's more fascinating than another woman screwed by a cheating husband, but this time married to a Nazi and not even knowing it!
And Bullock? She's the all American girl!
Over time we hope she's okay and finds true love and all, but for now we wait for the added twists and turns--entanglements, unwanted pregnancies, maybe hundred of thousands of dollars in secret payoffs to keep some talkative women from communicating with the media.
In short we say we can’t stand it but pray for a Greek chorus of whores, a yellow pages of tattooed ladies Mr. James kept horizontally active while Bullock was off on a movie shoot or cooking dinner in anticipation for an evening alone with her husband.
She loved being a wife, she said, though she had no clue she waited for a neo Nazi knight to come charging over the hill on his Hitler Harley.
But first James was careful, or maybe just a bit Driving into the garage, I can see him ripping off his latest Third Reich pocket patch and tucking it into the saddlebag along the rear of his bike.
That completed, he opened the side door wide, and yelled, "Hey baby, I'm home!"
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