The Goats Have It

What’s the hottest thing you can do to go green, get your grass trimmed, and chomp those nasty weeds into oblivion?

You can go to Rent-a-goat.com or if those little ruminants (you know what ruminants are, animals with four parts to their stomach) are busy chewing their cud, the Goat Lady can offer the perfect alternative.  Prices range from $200 a day for a dozen, to upward of $1,000 for larger herds of 100 or more.

At one of the Vanderbilt Mansions a small herd grazes on seven hilly acres and only costs two-thirds of what it normally does with lawn mowers, blowers, weed whackers, and all those other nasty things that clog up the air.

Of course while I'm reading this, I'm thinking. 

I live across the street from a lake, and we have a pretty nice view--if weren't for the house directly in front of us.   Luckily ours was built off center so we do see the water and the occasional boat and skier, but it’s not lakefront, so I know it's not the same.

And after years of residing here, I'm tired of NOT seeing everything.  I want my own full view, my own show in front of me.

Of course, we’re not about to move because we don’t want to pay a gazillion bucks in property taxes for lakefront, so like the old adage says, if you can’t go to the show, then bring the show to you.

On  second thought, did somebody actually say that? 

But it got me to thinking a little deeper.  I've never had any goats, never gave it a thought, but why not haul a few over?                                                                            
                                                                                      
I could have such a show going on that even the lakefront neighbors will finally turn their heads and stare across to this side of the street.   I don’t remember ever meeting these people—only identifying them by their do’s.

And I know nothing's perfect.  Can't forget the poop problem.  

But manure makes good fertilizer, so that’s another bonus.  And I'll make sure not to leave any goats around after the sun goes down.  One owner kept his goats in a trailer over night, and coyotes surrounded it, howling until morning.

Boy, how the neighbors loved that!

But all I want is my own show in front of my own house that’s more exciting than a bunch of waterskiers flying off a ski jump or the occasional alligator tearing after a dog.  

As for the lawn itself, I’m not expecting perfection.

According to Steve Holdaway from Chapel Hill, NC,  “The goats did a fine job…and …the neighbors were amused.  Still given the tall grass… the goat company returned with a scythe to neaten up.  What you end up with is not a lawn-cut look.  It’s a munched [up] look.”

Yes, that should keep the people and the goats coming back for a long long time to come.