The Donald and the Birther Debate

Donald Trump

Was Donald Trump dumb enough to believe that Obama was born outside the U.S.?

All that ranting and raving like a dictator gone mad right before the rebel forces smashed through his windows and hauled him out of the country.   

Trump must be smarter than that, I thought, but oops, maybe he wasn’t.   

Or maybe he just wanted to splatter dirty doo-doo all over his nasty face.

But for what?  We all know he's the one with the lousy hair cut.  

So why?

‘Cause he’s The Donald, and he's running for president, and every candidate needs a cause.

But only something easy, so he didn’t bother with wars or the debt.

Something simple that would exemplify his disgust for Barak Obama?   

 Hey, the birth certificate again.

I say again because I saw a copy of that in Newsweek a couple years ago.  So wasn’t it already settled?  Turns out, it was only the short version.  Who knew?    

Since only the fringes on the far right supposedly believed this muck about the president, all Trump had to do was convince the rest of America.  But how long would the media allow him to waste the country’s time?  Ah, you forget it’s The Donald.  He booked himself onto every talk show and never shut his mouth.  As of last week, 47% of the Republicans believed that Obama wasn’t born in America, and the controversy was growing.              

                                                          

So our president succumbed and released the long version, which Donald says “he’s going to study.”

Heaven and earth, God bless the day he was born.

I thought the man would be gulping heaps of crow in a corner, but no.  Trump said he was “proud” of himself for the task.  Did I hear right?   The king dropped his drawers yet claimed he rode the streets donning golden threads.

Now he wants all of Obama’s college transcripts.           

It’s a smear campaign, nothing more, and Trump’s fallen to my lowest level of all—you know the one with the Alaskan babe who sees Russia from the shore—but only on cloudless evenings.

But this morning brought a pleasant surprise.   The poll numbers of Republican Speaker John Boehner plummeted as have other prominent Republicans.   

Of course, these men and women knew from the start that our president is American, but their anger’s exploded against Obama, and so has the outrage. 

  

Unfortunately, it’s not going to end with a simple birth certificate.

There will be more nitpicking, and The Donald will remain in the ring until some caucus or his wife and kids pull him out.

 

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart and the rest of the late night comedians applaud Trump and want him to continue his campaign.  They pray for it.  What better fodder for material?  Trump’s the stooge, and America’s always loved outlandish clowns.

But hey, the guy’s too in love with himself to see three feet in front of him.  I love a good joke too, though I say shut off the cameras and yank that idiot from the American stage.