Bin Laden and the Comedians

Conan O'Brien

Last Sunday those incredibly brave Navy Seals attacked and killed Osama bin Laden.  

Conan O’Brien said, "his death interrupted The Celebrity Apprentice, which begs the question, ‘How do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?’"

Nothing's ever enough.  We're always looking for something more.  Some wonderful complicated story happens where every morsel and nuance is absorbed and evaluated by analysts, normal people, nuts, friends, enemies, and finally, the funnymen.                            

Yes, we listen, but then we can't wait to hear what else.  What do those late night funnymen have to say?  

After hearing the details, I walked around thinking how Osama bin Laden could hide in that upscale neighborhood where all the other homes were pretty much the same size while his was about eight times bigger than the rest and covered in barbed wire.  And no one noticed?  Jon Stewart asked the same question out loud and wondered why the Pakistani guard didn’t look suspicious.  Come on, the whole world knew by now that their equivalence to West Point was a mere half mile away.

 “Let me put it in New York terms," {Stewart said.]  "Bin Laden was on 21^st and 7^th Avenue—they were on 21^st and 9^th Avenue.  If the Pakistani military academy were Dominoes, they would have been delivered to Bin Laden on foot.”  

And Bin Laden’s happy family was the only ones burning garbage.  They were the only ones who paid the neighborhood children who lost their soccer balls when they flew over their fence, instead of just returning the ball.  “Stewart joked [that the guard] wouldn’t have caught him even if he paid them with a personal check.”

David Letterman

David Letterman announced that after {Osama's} death they found a clerical error.  They sent bin Laden to the afterlife with “72 Vegans.” 

His TOP TEN LIST was Osama’s possible last words.  One of them was:  “I need a house full of Navy Seals like a need a hole in the head.”    

Jay Leno said that to make certain the body was really bin Laden’s, Maury Povich had conducted the DNA testing.

Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson added.  “Bin Laden is dead, and Trump wants to see his death certificate.”  

The story will continue while the rest of us anxiously wait for the rest.  There were families involved, children, and the most evil man alive was murdered.

Yeah, we got other nasty ones, but this guy was the biggy, and I picture him skimming the ocean floor in his body bag.   

Was it Letterman talking about the climbing prices of gold and then suddenly switched to another commodity.

 “Bin Laden’s got some interest in lead,” he said.

  Yes, he does.  For eternity.