The Casey Anthony Trial: A City Divided

Casey Anthony

I live in Orlando, and we are a city obsessed, or at least 50% of us are.  The other half--my kind--continue on with our regular lives, surfing the channels, sweating in the heat, complaining there's not enough rain, and even reading real pages of books.

"You don't know what you're missing," the others tell me.
"Yeah, yeah," I tell them back.  "A mother kills her child, goes partying for an entire month, and then claims she's innocent."

Except Casey's not that smart, and I resent this murderess--yes, I already convicted her in my head--of taking up all the daytime TV.  I really don't watch that much, but when I'm doing my my elliptical and trying to get my heart pumping good, I want something to keep my mind active too.  So I watch movie stars on The Today Show or the ladies on The View.

Is that asking too much out of life?

So you can imagine my surprise when both my shows were gone, and all the others ones too.  Poof!  They disappeared and all we got is this fake looking Casey.   Couldn't the networks get together and pick just one of them to broadcast the proceedings, or were they all too frightened about losing the ratings' war?  

Guess they were shaking in their shoes, which left half the people happy and the other half depressed.

I changed the channel.  Maybe CNN  was running something decent.  No, they were analyzing the Anthony case.  Some guy was  yakking about maggots feeding off the baby, or did he say they didn't?  Did those buggers crawl in the trunk or not? 
 
Hey!  Is anybody listening?  It's morning, and I'm trying to burn some excess belly fat but I can't concentrate 'cause this guy's talking too much, and every time the camera passes Casey's face, I see those crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks.

I wonder if there's an Oscar for Best Actress Committing Premeditated Murder.

You mean everyone acts this way in court?  Gee, Hollywood misses its most authentic casting crew.
 
But let's get back to the problem at hand.  There are urgent problems going on in this world, and we need to address them immediately.   

Arnold and son, Christopher from Maria

Come on, people.  Is Arnold still screwing his maid or did he hire a new one?   Is Dominique Strauss-Khan sticking to his story that his maid is a serial rapist?  And how about poor Anthony Wiener?  Maybe if he got a decent nose job, he'd look better in his pornographic photos.  There's so much to worry about without this Anthony thing hanging over our heads.
      
So let's be sensible.  Let one station cover the court proceedings and reinstate the remaining shows so the rest of us can receive our daily dose of ongoing do-do.

Anthony Wiener