The Article about Articles

Jeff Bezos

Did you know our articles, those three most commonly used words in the English language, “a,  an,”  and  “the,” suddenly have no use in the digital age?   The marketers and advertisers treat them like dust balls.   They clutter conversation and screech thoughts to a grinding halt.

Never passed your mind before?   I never considered them either.

reading Kindle

But Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, spoke with reporter Charlie Rose last year and repeatedly dodged the word the when describing his ebook Kindle.   “Kindle is succeeding; Kindle is a companion to tablet computers...”    He completed the interview with nary a “the” in range.
               
 Nintendo also fitted itself in the same mold, announcing to their customers, “What Wii is all about.”  Both companies set the tone, leading by example while Motion Ltd., the maker of Blackberry, stated it clearly, so no one could misunderstand.  "Blackberry is an adjective, not a noun.  'The Blackberry' is unacceptable."

Oh I get it.  Blackberry might look like a thing but is really a description—even if I can see it, touch it, and slam it against the wall.   Gotta remember that.

Branding gurus defend “the” omission.  According to The Wall Street Journal, they argue that dropping the article makes the brand feel more iconic, less formal, and within easy reach.

Easy reach of what, the consumer walking into a store and purchasing a spankin’ new adjective?  I never bought one of those before.

Yet everything works--if the public accepts it--and as long as grammarians agree.  But the grammarians don't.  They hate it.   In Theodore’s Bernstein’s The Careful Writer, he claims omitting articles is a “disfigurement of the language.”
 

“When the writer is tempted to lop [one] off, he should ask himself whether he would as readily delete all the other articles.  Would we write, ‘Main feature of combined first floors of new building will be spacious hospitality area?’”

Nope, I don't think so, but that's just for people who insist on getting it straight, and remember Apple’s been creating its own innovations for years.   When Craig Tanimoto, a former art director, came up with “Think Different,” in 1997, chopping off the “ly,” everyone in the office gave him a long look, even Steve Jobs, who then broke into a grin.
 

Still, can we randomly decide that a machine we hold is not an “it” but merely a description, which means we’ve got to monitor our brains when we speak, forcing ourselves not to place an article in front of the forbidden word. 

Count me out of the conversation.  That’s too much energy to exert against all previous education.  I can see using Kindles and Blackberries at the beginning of a sentence but to keep it going forever?  I’ll pass that labor to Mr. Bezos. 

He’s a billionaire.  Let him earn it.