Reality Beats Neimans Fantasy This Year

Nothing I can think of compares to the Neiman’s Christmas catalog—you know those million dollar diamonds and that ultra deluxe safari?  And this year the store offered a $395,000 Ferrari FF and sold out in fifty minutes.
Surprised?  Oh come on.
It was one of the cheapest fantasy offerings, and any average millionaire could take it with a nod.  There’s still dancing waters available for a million and an International Flower Show Tour for $420,000  ( I think they both include a ticket for a friend).

You see, Neimans creates a life that you never fully imagined because you never pictured that level of decadence before.  But today you can dream as decadent as you ever wanted to be because this year a couple countries just outdid the most fabulous department store on earth.

For the first time since Nero fiddled while Rome crackled in flames, Italy and Greece have gone bust, and everything, even a toothpick from a thousand year old olive tree, is up for sale.

The Colosseum in Rome

Even the coveted Colosseum, you ask?  The realtor said the roof’s in need of immediate repair, and part of the sides and floor have drifted away, but it’s a handyman’s dream come true.

David by Michelangelo

 

Ever imagine owning “The Last Supper” by da Vinci?  Or “David” by Michelangelo?   Too pricey, you think?   The Roman parliament is introducing layaway plans just before the holidays, and don’t worry, they don’t bother checking credit ‘cause they got nothing either.

Oops, this just in.  The “Leaning Tower of Pisa” is out of the running.  Disney just bought it and is building a new theme park called Dizzy Disney, complete with barf bags at every landing.

What fun we’ll have, but we’ll miss the old stories about Prime Minister Berlusconi, taking his eyes off the books and onto his falling zipper with the underage girls he seduced.
            

 Yet if Italy’s losing part of its fortune, then Greece is having a genuine fire sale.

Over the last few years, 40% the population refused to pay taxes, and instead of enforcing the law, the government let them go and borrowed the money needed from the European Union.  This continued until the government went broke—to the tune of half a trillion.  Did you hear that, people?  That’s like a gazillion bucks.

Many Greeks retired at 48 and vegged on their couches, neatly forgetting that they caused their own crisis. 

This past September and October they panicked when they realized they might have to work and peeled themselves off their cushions to riot in the streets because they deserved the money.   This week they rioted again because the new prime minister set austerity measures. 
You see nobody enjoys the good life more than the Greeks.  They’re singers, dancers, revelers, lovers, and understand gourmet food, and a 1924 Rothchild burgundy from a 1923 and a half.  But nobody said they had any brains. 

Goblets up, folks.   I’ll drink to that.