Callista Gingrich: The Possessor in the Right Angled Suits

Callista Gingrinch

So far the public has endured 17 Republican debates, and familiar faced Newt is galloping on top of the heap.  He said one of his secret weapons is his third wife, Callista.   She’s kept a low profile, so people haven’t talked about her much, but they’re starting to notice how the lady dresses.
 

She's developed her own tailored uniform, rich, exacting, with straight, boxy shoulders on her ever present designer jackets, platinum helmet hair--rigidly cut and coiffed, and makeup painted against her pores and not to be retouched.  In fact, nothing is to be fussed or mussed.  Perfection can’t be duplicated.

     

In her early days in Washington, Callista used to be simpler.  She modeled a swingy layered hairdo and a more relaxed dress code, like many upscale overachieving Americans.  Not anymore.  Today she clings to clothes with instructions that seem to be spit from her Blackberry and dictated daily with slight variations.  Nobody looks like her but eighty-five year old widows in twenty-million dollar mansions surrounded by French provincial furniture and artwork of the Madonna and Child.

In our all too casual society where folks stroll around town in torn T-shirts and tanks that barely cover one’s breasts, Callista comes off looking like a waxed doll that never got fifty-feet near the flame.  She's only 45, but I got a funny feeling that she's more rigid than Queen Elizabeth.  I hear the queen eats her cereal out of a Tupperware bowl and walks around her many palaces flipping off the lights.  Maybe Callista's just insecure and wears her severely tailored style like a shield to fend off natural human contact with others.  After all, she never married a prince, only Newt, who got kicked out of congress for ethics violations he committed in 1998.                                                                      
Then again, this is the digital age, and the silent majority found their voices years ago and have been shouting ever since.  I also understand looks aren’t everything, but Bess Truman’s long gone and Mamie Eisenhower’s bangs died with her.   Still I can’t find a genuine anything about Callista.   Too bad Newt’s crazy about her, though the man’s been known to change his mind—again and again and again.  They say last June his sixteen staffers quit en masse because of a fallout with his wife.   Really?   So the woman’s got a mouth?  Some called her a dictator.  That means she not only dresses like the old Gadhafi, she just might be him, or maybe, like Putin, the possessor behind the throne.

Uh-oh.  Stick around.  I can just hear the tales to come.