Ever See a Chicken Museum?

The Pez Museum

The other day I was browsing around the mall but was tired of shopping.  What?  Believe me, I'm not insane, but it happens once in a Mickey Mouse moon—when my mind starts wandering and I dream about museums.  Museums?  I must be certifiable, but here in Orlando we just got the regular kind—the art, the science, the history.  And I’m itching to see something new.

In Overland Park, Nebraska they’re proposing The National Museum of Suburbia.  Yes, you're reading correctly.  The multimillion dollar structure would pay tribute to the lifestyle that half of America already lives by building a faux suburb with exhibits on bowling, lawn furniture, barbecues, and swing sets.   Anyone yawning yet?  Don’t worry.  The project's stalled because the committee is also bored and doesn’t see the need to pay for something they pass every day.  

So how about something exciting?  There’s the Cockroach Hall of Fame in Plano, Texas, but that's if I wanted to see dead cockroaches dressed up in costumes and live specimens of the ugliest creatures ever created. 

The Cockroach Musem

No, I wanted something fun, like the Banana Museum in Auburn, Washington, or the International Chicken Hall of Fame in Missouri with the best chicken art around.  And there’s the Pez Museum in California (see photo above) that has every Pez dispenser ever sold—over 900!--and inside the Pez, there's two other museums—The Classic Toy, which displays the Barbie doll and Mr. Potato Head—and The Banned Toys like lawn darts and an atomic energy lab.  Can’t understand why those last two were pulled from the market…

But I was in a serious mood and was looking for something challenging.  There’s the Carhenge Alliance in Nebraska, which is an exact replica of Stonehenge in Britain, except this one’s not filled with giant stones but with gray painted cars instead. 

Carhenge

No, I was searching for something more meaningful, I thought, something strong and serious.  Heading straight to the Devil’s Rope Museum in McClean, Texas, I didn’t find a single devil or any dangling ropes--only barbed wire.  I viewed every detail, angle, and knife-sharp tie I ever wanted to touch.   And I guess I touched too much—walking out with a bandaged-covered hand--and finally yearning for something normal.   

Barbed wire museum

How about a real art museum, I thought, when I discovered the Museum of Bad Art (The MOBA) in NYC.   Here I discovered the true masters of crap.  

Bad Art Museum of NYC

Ah, but there’s more…

There’s the sex and torture museums in Amsterdam and the Spam Museum—not the computer kind but the food in-the-can-kind in Minnesota.  

  There’s even a museum of broken relationships in Zagreb.  By the way, how do you keep love alive in Zagreb?   I was just in that city a couple years ago, but I guess I must’ve missed it.  After I check out the chicken art and  Pez, I’m hurrying back to see.

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