For Gen X, Last Names First

Hudson

When our daughter Barbra was pregnant, she told us it was a boy but wouldn't let us in on the name.  Why not?   Did she think we'd criticize or mumble something under our breath?   I promised to keep mute--an impossibility, of course, and one that she never bought.   So everyone remained silent until Hudson was born.

Hudson?  Sounded more like a last name than a first, I thought, and wondered what others would think.  Boy, was I uncool.  Must've been out to lunch with my hula hoop.

Hudson's not only a popular moniker, but in the first name department, my grandson's got plenty of company.   Surnames are exploding everywhere.

Last weekend my husband and I flew to Atlanta so that we could see him again and found Barbra in the midst of organizing an Easter egg hunt for her neighborhood.  Busy running around, she assigned me the task of pushing his buggy and staring down at his gorgeous face.  Well somebody had to do it.


The egg hunt was wild with kids--about forty babies and toddlers accompanied their parents, not counting dozens of older siblings.   And during that morning, I realized the trend.  

Generation X has rejected the thousands of names in the baby naming books and went searching for something creative (though I think a few are trying too hard).   I met a woman who also had a Hudson but thought it was too run-of-the-mill, so she spelled it, H-u-t-son.

 "Hutson with a t?" I asked.   I also asked if she knew that her child would be spelling his name for the rest of his life.   She loved it the idea!    Idiot, I thought, looking around for others.  I soon found Parks, Anderson, Keegan, Reid, Ryder, Tuttle, and Davis.   The new names sounded like law firms.  Who'd want to fight against Anderson, Davis, and Tuttle?   Powerful, prestigious.  Generation X means business from the beginning.

And celebrity Xers,?  Like naming their children on steroids.   Gee, maybe they are.  We all know Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple.  It's silly but nothing compared to the others.

Paul Jillette

Paul Jillette, the illusionist of Penn and  Teller calls his baby Moxie Crimefighter.  Frank Zappa's two children are Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin.  Rob Morrow's daughter is Tu.  Get it?  Tu Morrow.

Rob Morrow

My eyes were rolling out of their sockets when I learned that Jason Lee, star of the defunct sitcom, "My Name is Earl," calls his son, Pilot Inspektor.                                       

David Duchovny and Tea Leoni couldn't be outdone and came up with Kyd  while Jermaine Jackson called his newborn Jermajesty.   How does Jermajesty sound on a job application?    Does one bow before reading?  

Today Andy and Emily sound as ancient as the pyramids, and I couldn't find one in the group.   Still, I bet the old ones come back with a roar.   After a lifetime of watching arched eyebrows and faces breaking with laughter, Tu Morrow and Moxie Crimefighter will discover Jack and Jill and think they've invented the wheel.

I hope they hurry before Apple has her twins and names them Wormy Plum and Freshly Picked Cantaloupe.   Why not?    It runs in the family.